18 Lessons I’ve Learned From Solo Travel

“By yourself? You’re not scared?”

“I’m sure if you asked around somebody would want to come with you.”

“Haven’t you ever seen ‘Taken’?”

These are some of the most common responses I would get when telling people that I had an upcoming solo trip. Nobody means any harm by it, but the theme is still the same: too many things could go wrong if you travel by yourself.

While sure, a million and one things could go wrong. But the reason for solo travel is all the things that could go right.

My first ever solo trip was to Paris in October of 2019 when I was 23. It was a very impulse decision. I bought my tickets from Casablanca to Paris on a Wednesday afternoon after a particularly hard day at work and called in sick that Friday. Before I got on the plane I was feeling scared and nervous but also confident that I would make a great weekend for myself. And before the trip was even halfway over, I remember thinking, “this isn’t nearly as hard or scary as I thought.”

At the Luxembourg Gardens in Paris on my first solo trip.

Since then, I’ve been to Amsterdam, Spain, Milan, Paris (again), Tokyo, and more completely by myself. Solo travel is different than traveling with a companion or group, and it teaches you a different set of lessons. These are some of my favorites:

It’s possible to be alone without being lonely. Making deliberate decisions to travel by myself is incredibly empowering. Solo travel allows me to take risks, get out of my comfort zone, and get to know myself better. And sometimes it’s just nice to get away from the noise at home. But, when I want to be with other people I can because…

It doesn’t take much to make a new friend. In fact on most solo trips, I’ve made more new friends in one week than I have in a whole year at home. Other travelers are so friendly and always looking to connect with like-minded people.

The sunset across the world is more beautiful than anything. Especially with a glass of wine in one hand.

Don’t be afraid to sound dumb. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used Spanish words when trying to speak Italian. Or mustered up every ounce of courage to order my drink in French only for the Parisian waitress to look me up and down and respond in perfect English. I’d rather try to speak the local language and fail than make no attempt. Thick American accent included.

There’s power in saying “yes” when you want and “no” when you want. Being able to say “yes” without having to check in with anyone first is so freeing. And being able to say “no” without worrying about offending anyone is a powerful feeling.

The wine really is better in Italy, and the crème brûlée really is sweeter in France. Trying the best wine and dessert at your nearest fancy restaurant is fun, but pair it with the magic in the European air and you’ll finally understand la dolce vita.

Crème brûlée from my first solo trip to Paris in October, 2019.

You are braver than you thought…mostly. I’ll get on a plane anywhere no questions asked, but will still kill a spider on sight.

“Life plans” don’t matter as much as we think. I vividly remember once when I was 22, telling my dad that if this “thing” doesn’t go the way I want it to, it will “throw my life off by one whole year,” and he laughed right in my face. At the time I was annoyed, but now I can’t even remember what it was that I was so stressed about. There is no blueprint for life, and meeting people from all over who are on their own unique journeys will put yours into perspective very quickly.

You’re better off for the blunders along the way. I saw something once that said, “Good judgment comes from experience… and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.” Gotta love all these “learning experiences.”

Always trust your intuition. Read that again. Whether it’s declining a drink from that nice stranger or opting out of the hike all your new friends are going on, if your gut is telling you that something isn’t right, listen to it. Learning how to read your own instincts will always point you in the right direction.

You can elbow your way through any crowd. This is a very underrated skill on the road. Learn how to do this and you can survive any bar or crowded bus in the world.

Everything is less intimidating. No job interview, presentation, or party where I don’t know anyone will ever intimidate me again because I know what it’s like to go alone to a country where everything is new and nothing is familiar. If I can handle that, I can handle anything.

The fling with the gorgeous man with the accent is worth it. My grandparents read this so I won’t elaborate here, but trust me on this one.

You can take care of yourself better than anybody else. I know what my body needs better than anyone. Whether it’s food, water, rest, or adventure, I’m so much better at giving myself what I truly want and need.

The hangover is usually worth it. If the only reason not to go out with my new friends in a fun city is an early flight or train, that is a problem for future Emily. Just don’t get so drunk that someone has to take care of you, because nobody likes that person. Oh, and pack advil.

You get more value spending $10,000/year on travel than $500/month on a car. Don’t hate me for this one, and maybe it’s just because I’ve never been a “car person” in general. In America, car payments are touted as a way of life, but I would so much rather keep driving my 2007 Honda Accord if it means more money towards my next trip.

Memories pay dividends for your whole life. This concept actually comes from Bill Perkins’ book “Die With Zero,” but it’s something I think about all the time. Your memories don’t end when your vacation ends. In fact, you will be reliving the same feelings and experiences over and over again, forever. Wouldn’t you rather have amazing ones?

People are good. Sure, bad things can happen, but they are the exception, not the rule. The kindness of strangers all over the world has changed my life for the better and taught me how to pay it forward.

Toledo, Spain on a solo trip in November, 2021

If you are someone who has not traveled solo yet but you want to find out just how brave and independent you can be, do not let anybody or anything hold you back from seeing the world the way you dream of.

As someone who used to be embarrassed to be caught eating in the dining hall alone, I know full well how much of a gift it is to be able to travel solo. These experiences have carried into my everyday life, long after the trips are over. I no longer wait for someone to come with me to do… anything. Whether it’s going to baseball games, out to dinner, or to NYC for the weekend, solo travel has instilled in me a confidence that all I need to have fun and meaningful experiences is myself.